Why Me, Cookie Monster, Need to Audit Fort Cookie
It not what you think
Hello, Sesame Street. It me, Cookie Monster. Recently me think about important thing, as me sometimes do. No, Cookie not think about space, or Friend Jeff, or Friend Space Jeff. It something more important to everyone on Sesame Street.
It time for Cookie Monster to audit Fort Cookie.
Calm down, Sesame Street! Me not going to eat all the cookie at Fort Cookie and then maybe eat building. Me responsible, have plenty cookie. Me have big cookie statue that mysteriously arrive without head, me have smartphone to sell for cookie that me decide not to manufacture after all (cookie nonrefundable), me have big cookie operation going on across town right now. Cookie Monster known for conservative cookie strategy.
No, Cookie Monster worried about other cookie guys. Sesame Street known for dishonest monsters much more obsessed with cookie than Cookie Monster (“Cookie” just family name from old neighborhood, actually).
Let talk about Naptime Elmo. Little baby. Very Small. Everybody know. You think Elmo not eat cookie? You bad at job.
How about Count Von Miscount? You see that guy count? He count, “one, two, ten.” He eat rest of cookie. Cookie system rigged on Sesame Street. Very unfair.
Oscar a grouch. Grouches don’t even know about cookie. Grouches probably eating the birds. Grouches probably eating the woolly mammoths.
Cookie not talk about human grown-up on Sesame Street. Cookie no bite the hand that move mouth.
Anyway, this why Cookie Monster need to put on counting bib, pour big glass of inspecting milk, and open big chocolate chip door at Fort Cookie. When cookie all missing, Sesame Street know that Cookie Monster is neighborhood hero.
This bring me to next point: it important to listen when Cookie Monster say who steal cookie. Nobody know cookie like Cookie Monster. That why he called that. Cookie Monster have cookie shoes, cookie watch, and digital cookie untraceable by grown-up. When Cookie Monster say who did it, that it. Send other monster and everyone who look same way back to sock drawer.
Now pardon Cookie Monster while Cookie have snack. Actually, Cookie Monster pardon Cookie Monster.
That good enough for me.
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